i hate camping. hate it. i guess you can say i hate pretty much everything right about now.
my son told me today i’m the best mom ever. i told him i don’t feel like the best mom this year. that i’m trying really hard and i still failed him. he told me that the house doesn’t matter. all that matters is that we are together. i wish that were true. it’s sweet of him to say. how good of a mother can i be if i can’t even provide us a home?
so much of life relies on money. i hope that i can give him a strong enough character, a strong enough will, that he can overcome the hopelessness that i could not overcome.
i’m still fat, but i’ve lost all hope in dating and no longer want to. so i care a lot less about what i perceive to be extra weight. fuck it. my teeth and my nose are fucked. might as well be chubby too.
i just want a place so i can take a mini vacation, jack up the heat, and watch kdrama for a week straight. make me forget.
i’m off to the gym. thanks for letting me get that off my chest.